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just-yasmeen:

Just eat whatever the fuck you want and let people eat whatever the fuck they want

theimpolitecanadian:

when you drink the water and the tummy go sploosh sploosh

donnacabonna:

i wonder if my first follower still follows me

rneerkat:

dont EVER call ur date honey in front of bees, they do NOT understand the concept of nicknames and will viciously attack your girlfriend in hope of getting back what was taken from them

piplump:

Pros and cons of boys:

  • Con: They’re dicks
  • Pro: Their dicks

dyellas:

do you ever read people’s tags and get like damn why can’t I hang out with this majestic funny motherfucker

clearbay:

I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT 

foulmouthedliberty:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.

this is real